This can be a really touchy subject... it's really hard to forgive someone that has hurt you.  But the truth is - as soon as you do forgive them - you begin to feel better and the feelings associated with that person that hurt you, seem to just melt away....

You have to learn how to forgive.... I believe it's a skill... and the reason that you have to learn how to do it... is because it's not exactly that easy to do!!  People often say "Just forgive them", thinking of "forgiving" as just words - thinking once you say the words "I forgive", then all the pain attached to why you need to forgive them in the first place... will just disappear. But it doesn't. Because they are just words - and words don't mean anything unless you can subconsciously attach them to your inner thoughts and feelings.

What do I mean by this? Well... let's look a little deeper and start at the very beginning of the problem. You got hurt - for whatever reason - whether it was something someone did to you or said to you - it doesn't matter - either way... your feelings and emotions got hurt, which in turn changed the way you felt about the person who did that to you. Now forgiveness has to come from a place within you that those feelings of hurt originated.  So it's no good just saying "ok - I forgive you" you have to really mean it - and feel the forgiveness all the way down your chest, into your heart and in the centre of your tummy. I know that might sound a little weird - but it's true. You have to physically feel that you forgive - because I know, you most likely physically felt hurt and pain in those particular parts of your body, at that time your feelings were hurt.

So now - how do you feel forgiveness? I want you to start by placing your hands on your chest... then move them over to your heart... then place them on your tummy.  This identifies the areas of your body that you want to feel the forgiveness feelings in, to your conscious mind.

Now if you are truly ready to forgive that person - you need to think about what they did to hurt you - and make a subconscious decision - a decision deep within yourself, to not allow it or that person to affect you anymore. You are the only one who can decide how you feel... think of it this way... as you think, so you feel... and as you feel... so your body responds. So now - think of that person in a different way... reframe the situation... take control of yourself and your emotions. Change the feelings of hurt within you - to feelings of power and inner control where you decide how you feel.

Perhaps it would be an idea to address the problem or situation with the person.  Tell them how you feel, how they hurt you and how it is not acceptable. Feelings of hurt and inner pain all derive from fear. Fear of the hurt they caused you happening again. But once you talk to them about how you feel and make both a conscious and subconscious decision to move past those feelings... then you will begin to feel better and be on the path of forgiveness. Now I'm not saying you should forget about what happened... we all know the saying "Forgive but not forget!" I actually think that it is important to hold onto some of those memories and to learn from them and to not allow it to ever happen again. You will then be free to forgive them, free to let go of the fear attached to them and then in turn, have your inner power under your own control.

So go on - decide RIGHT NOW how you want to feel and make the decision TODAY to allow your inner self to take control of your own emotion and forgive with true feeling. I have no doubt you will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders!

Love,

Katie-Jane xx 

P.s - please email me on This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and let me know your thoughts and feelings... If you put what I have written here into practice - let me know how you get on! I really do love getting your feedback - it helps me to help you!!